My breasts were always a key part of my femininity and self-image as a woman. They were an essential part of my attraction and a source of pride and pleasure. After I had my two children in my mid-thirties, breastfeeding was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. Breastfeeding contributed to my sense of self-worth and nurtured my connection to my infant children.
In 2008, around my 50th birthday, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The operation and subsequent radiation therapy was considered a success, but the process left me feeling vulnerable and afraid. The parts of me that I once cherished so much were now capable of killing me.
I had begun painting in 2000 while living in Guatemala. It started as a hobby with my children, but soon developed into an interest in contemporary art. I began to seek out information on my own and was largely self-taught. I temporarily ceased to paint when the family moved from Guatemala to Carrboro, NC in 2006. However, after the cancer diagnosis and treatment, I returned to painting in 2009 and the theme of breasts surfaced strongly in my work. I found myself painting women without breasts, but I thought the results were too morbid, so I discarded them.
In 2010 the cancer returned to the same breast, this time in an invasive form. The recommendation was for a radical mastectomy, or removal, of the right breast. However, even though I only had the diagnosis on the one side, I opted for a bilateral mastectomy to be safe and had both breasts removed. The subsequent pathology on the left breast also turned out to be positive.
I spent the next two years wallowing in self-pity and trying to decide if I should undergo reconstructive surgery. However, the previous radiation therapy on the right side made that surgery more difficult and I finally realized it was better to come to terms with my new body.
I engaged in therapy and other ways to cope but the negative feelings lingered. Eventually, I grew tired of feeling bad about myself and was in need of a positive outlet to help me move into the next chapter of my life, so in 2013 I took up painting again as a form of art therapy.
I started my Tropical Fruit Women series of paintings that year and left them unfinished until 2023. This series of three paintings depicts women with my favorite tropical fruit in place of their breasts. These women are intended to relate to women who pass through the same illness process to show that there is still beauty and health without breasts.
Now I paint almost every day and show and sell my artwork on-line through my website cheasart.com. Please give it a look, especially to the Tropical Fruit Women series, and let us know what you think.
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